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Thursday, February 13, 2014

Happy Valentine's Day

There comes a time in a man's life where he realizes one thing. His destiny. Sure, we all dream about something and we all strive towards it, but when it's actually here in front of us, and it's real...well, that's when you know it's a good feeling. Gentlemen, allow me to let you in on a secret. A secret that can make your wife, girlfriend, mistress, side hoe, skank, prosititue, and/or hole in the wall happy is this. You must listen. That's it. Just listen, because all women want is for you to listen to their problems. That's how women communicate. They want someone to listen to everything they think is wrong with them, or their shitty day at work, or their family giving them crap. They need a shoulder to cry on. When you talk it out, the better you feel. Don't try to solve anything, don't give her advice. Just sit there and listen. And when she asks for your opinion, give it to her with an honest answer. And yes, it may distract you from the game and other things but you must listen. Listen to what your woman is trying to tell you. The faster she gets all of her problems out for her day the faster she will leave you alone. Right ladies? Wrong, you talk too damn much.

How single would I be if I ended the blog like that?  I'm dumb, not stupid. Ladies, we love you. You know we would do anything for you. Hell, you put up with our shit more than we put up with your shit. You have a better tolerance for annoyance. I respect that. I was never pregnant so I can't imagine WHAT THE F is wrong with your body. I was very lucky when my wife was pregnant. She was chill. Really chill. But my sister... There is no God...

We all know Valentine's Day is a bull shit money making holiday. So my advice to everyone, just love each other. You don't need a card to tell your wife you love her. You don't need a fancy dinner or an expensive ring. You don't need anything at all gentlemen. Except one thing. A massage. And not just a massage. A foot massage. An all day long foot massage. If you can massage her feet all day long, you wont need anything else.

" I am the foot fucking master" - Jules Winnfield